Funny Things My Mom Says
Home    Info    Ask    Submit
About: This is a place for me to remember all of the ridiculous and hilarious things my mom says. Enjoy ;-)
Anonymous asked: back after almost a year?! tsk tsk... looks like your moms havent been funny in awhile!

I know, I know. I’ve been really bad at hoarding all of her hilarity to myself lately. Sorry!

Me: “Mom. did you seriously eat the chocolate off of the ice cream bars again, and stick them back in the freezer?”

Mom: “..No. (straight face) “

Me: “Mom?”

Mom: “…Yes. v_v”

Me: “Why is it so hot in here.”

Mom: “Im cool…hahaha. Im cool! Cooler than you! bahahah.”

Me: ……”I’m not sure how to respond to that.”


Nicky: Hey mom, we need more candy bar ideas to put in diapers at jessica’s baby shower

Mom: Ooo how about skittles?

Me: Mom, skittles dont look like poo-

Mom:(cuts me off) hahaha poop the rainbow! 

Dad: Hey,lets watch Source Code!

Mom: Who’s in that?

Me: Jake Gyllenhaal

Mom: Oh, the sex boy, the cowboy sex boy!

Me: Are you serious mom..

the-flowers-fade asked: why are you guys sooo cool? it aint youuuu <3


OK so, this is actually something my dad said, but it’s funny

Shalin: (while fishing)”Wow Danny, your really good at baiting, you’re like the master!

Dad: Yeah, he’s the master-baiter!

Me: Really Dad…


Mom- You’re sleeping in my room on the floor tonight.

Me- Why?

Mom- Because… you… have nesquick 


Mom: Linsi, would you please do the dishes?

Me: Okay, but i’m busy, so I’ll do them later.

Mom: Stop boning and just do them.

Me: Mom, that dosen’t mean what you think it does.

"The Elephant In The Room" theme by Becca Rucker. Powered by Tumblr. Install theme.